YES, I am ready to change and to learn. I have been in the program for 6 months now, and already feel like I have implemented some positive changes in my life, and I am determined to keep up the pace. I must remind myself that this does not mean 'I am ready to be perfect', which is a recipe for disaster. It means that I am ready to start calling OA members before a binge. If it doesn't work right away, FINE. I'll just give it time, keep working the program, and it will work.
What else am I willing to change? I need to get rid of this all-or-nothing mentality. This idea that, "oh well I started a binge today already, so I'll wait till tomorrow or the next day to get abstinent again. It just won't feel right if I try to do it now". BULLSHIT. I can choose to be abstinent the second my mouth is empty. I could also let go of my stubborn opinion that I don't really need a sponsor and that using one will just turn this binge eating thing into an obsession...I'd say it's a little late for that! I'm definitely going to talk to my sponsor about this tomorrow and start becoming more involved with her, at least a text or call a day, as well as a bi-weekly or monthly review of my steps.
Finally, I need to make letting go, particularly through meditation, a bigger aspect of my life. The biggest thing I can change now is working on living in the present and appreciating life one minute at a time. Easy, right?
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